Suspense Story 1
In Y6, we have been using personification, similies and mataphors to create suspence in a story. By video conferencening using COVERITLIVE.com, we shared our first paragraphs with the teacher. We used the iPads and laptops to do this. We will continue our stroy writing using this tool and gradually build the story for you to read.
Please read through our writing and hard work and leave us some comments in our guest book so that we can improve. We would really love to hear from you.
We have also uploaded some photographs of us working on the initial shared writing task. Why not take a look. Simply click on each icon to enlarge. We will publish our completed stories soon, so please come back and visit us to see how our work develops..
Niamh Hardman Year 6
Outside,the snow danced gracefully overtaking the mighty storm that graced the earth earlier. The snow covered the pathway slowly as if making it's way to the window to observe the horrors that waited .Inside the house was cold and dimly lit. Emma crept up the twisted staircase, glided into the young child's nursery and frantically began to search for the ancient, golden locket. As Emma let out a stifled scream ,the snow flurry suddenly ceased. Emma froze . In the hallway, footsteps could be heard fainly. Now shaking, she waited in anticipation for the door to fully open. As her heart pounded, she never imagined that the worst was about to to come! She nervously screamed and span in a frenzy to the nearest wardrobe for cover. The apparition stared at her. What will happen to her?
BANG! Outside, the lightning hit the ground so hard that it felt like an Earthquake. Inside, Isabelle's grandfathers mysterious mansion was very weird because it is old and different. Isabelle came into the mansion to find her grandfathers mystic key. Eventually the lightning passed when Isabelle crept up the staircase. Then Isabelle heard something or someone when she was in her grandfathers bedroom looking for the mysterious key. So she quickly slid under the bed. KNIFE! sweat poured from her forehead. Her heart was pounding. What is happening? Will I stay alive?
Outside the lightning struck the floor like a knife going in to a roast chicken as the thunder roared like a lion. Inside, the mill was dark and gloomy. Silently, Toby tiptoed through the mansion hoping not to be caught searching for the lost key. At that moment, the storm fell silent. Toby saw a shadow on the wall of some thing coming up the stairs towards the room. He heard the door handle creek. Toby dived under the bed. His heart pounding .Sweat filled his palms . All he saw was a pair of hovering feet coming towards him. Who is it?
Outside, the bitter rain was descending constantly as the wind blew hard. Inside, the haunted mansion, terror struck. Insects of all varieties covered the floor as darkness flooded the room. Isabel slid through the window . Jen tiptoed cautiously through the mansion, then got to work finding the key and the book. All of a sudden, the rain ceased. As Isabel searched frantically, someone entered the same room that she was in. She hid behind a cupboard, not daring to make a sound. Sweat dripped from her forehead and her heart pounded faster that a military drum. As the unknown made its way towards the window, Jen cowered. Who is it? What was it?
Outside, above the forest, thunder roared like a livid lion. Lightning danced across the sky. Inside, the old abandoned castle was watched as Caroline crept silently into this unforgiving place. She tiptoed up the windy staircase, wandered into the bedroom and started to search for evidence of her long, lost sister. Not long after, mysteriously the storm passed and everything fell into silence. Caroline heard the angry rattle of the doors handle. Her hand started to shake, sweat poured like a waterfall cascading from her head. Shivering, she dived under the bed. From her hiding place, Caroline saw feet; skinny, small, girls feet shuffling towards the edge of the window Who or what was it?
Outside, the rain was tiptoeing along the window pane. Inside the cottage was cold and dim . Richard, sprinted up the old crooked stairs and sneaked into the attic to search for the box. Suddenly the rain fell silent. Richard heard the muffled squeak of the door handle turn. He secretly sneaked under the large bed and began to shake His heart pounded like a drum. Sweat dripped. Richard saw the muddy black feet walk into the room. SNAP! What is going to happen?
Comments (35)Show Comments
i realy enjoyed doing the peice of work ,and i enjoyed having mr rigby as a teacher for y6.
Although everyone's work was excellent, I have to be biased and say Millie's was AWESOME!!! Keep up the great work everyone. Millie does keep me informed of when to look on the website. Paul Cooper Nashville TN.
Well done year six!
Very, very good year six! Can't wait to hear what happens next. (If Im brave enough!) Keep up the great work.
Well done year 6,all the pieces are very good. Nikkita you are developing your writing skills and using your imagination very well.Very proud,excellent.
I love the writing on your website!
i liked jack's
I Love Doing The Suspense Stories, Hope We Will Do A lot More.
Well wrote skye :-)
Wow! What gorgeous personification you've used. My favourite is Lucie's 'the snow danced gracefully'. It gives me a real sense of calm and stillness. Great polishing of your writing, Y6. I'm a very proud headteacher!